She is not my types but opposites attract. I feel good when I am with her but still the comprehensions of a would it be Ok, grips my mind. There were at least three occasions when I came close to her and started saying this but the breakdown at the last moment makes it almost impossible for me at times. She is young, vibrent and enthusiastic. Perhaps, soemtimes she does an overconfident act that later makes her realize that "ohhh! was it ok or I looked a bit weired". Maybe, she is also trying to understand this mean and tough world like me where I trusted nobody for years. But now she is there on my mind (I wanted but cannot use "in my life").
I still recall the moment when I proposed a young lady (the first time I mean) around 10 years ago. This moment is one of the most precious memories of my
life. I was sitting on the pavement close to the college canteen. She was coming from the opposite direction. I breaked into a conversion with a stupid
stupid tagline "Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven".
She smiled and replied "What?".
I replied "You look awesome today"
She giggled and said nothing. I realizaed this was my real chance.
I continued the form with another tagline "Do you have any raisins? How about a date?"
She just smiled and walked away. I guess this was the sign of a silent approval from her side.
Ten long years have passed and I have shifted into a comfort shell of my own which supresses me from doing whacky or indifferent things. Priorities change with time, we all become toys in the hands of priorities. I believe I am into a great depression whereby I am not able to express my feeling to someone whom I meet everyday, chat regularly in and after official work, go for movies, dinners and what not. Still the fear of loss seems to grip my mind everytime before saying "Let's get togather".
I do not wish to conclude but I have nothing more to write. As I write this, the lines "Dont gimme attitude, I have one of my own" seems so fickle.
2 comments:
Get a grip dear!
Life is never fair accept it! Its a fact. Fear of loosing/failure is something that drives people.
Don't live with a regret live with a feeling that it was meant to be, but that can only be achieved once you try!
Cheers!
And for a change nice blog! ;)
A touching story...nice one our Chetan Bhagat(looks are same, both going to be bald soon)....Hehe..
Yes, here come the real story of Attitude....It changes according time to time(wind doesn't flow in your direction always: it thrashes when it is against)...
There were times when I showed attitude so many times and now i am living the same title that i rejected at that point (smoking...)
We were sitting in a senior's room(college days), they used to smoke..(very good, no problem now), I showed my Tashan and dared to throw that cigg...
That was my attitude.......
Now when I do that ( smoking), some one may handle this with some attitude.. this is now his/her problem....
Dont move your stick in other's area...stay in your limits..dont hurt some one...(Let others chose to be hurt if they want..:-))...
Live life without saying that I did it for You...No you did it because you wanted something...correct...
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